Trust yourself ✔
Gorilla | strength | breathing
Last week, I wrote an emotional letter following the death of a close colleague. This week, I will talk about having trust in oneself.
But first I want to thank you for the many messages I received following last week's tragic news. Your messages meant a lot and I felt that in return I contributed to challenging your thinking. So, thank you.
Over the last few weeks, I talked about trust, after the Queen's death and how her people trusted her, then delved into how one can create a sense of trust. This week, I would like to look inward and talk about trusting yourself!
Trusting ourselves, with our views, our thoughts, or our actions is a constant battle between an internal melody and external checks of what people might say, or even worst, what they don’t say but that we believe they think.
Gut feelings or intuition are hard to grow and nurture, and at some point, to believe.
Trusting yourself that it is the right action or the right path is one of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s five lessons for success: “Don’t listen to the naysayer”.
And it is this famous Imposter Syndrome that Amy Cuddy demystifies in her TED Talk “Fake it until you make it” — viewed by 1.4m people!
Guess what? We all need to nurture our inner voice, engage with it, believe in ourselves, and appreciate that everyone feels this “imposter syndrome” but working hard on what you believe is right and you should trust yourself to build the right story, supported by the right evidence.
There’s no one more important to trust than yourself.
If you learn to trust yourself, you'll naturally feel more confident and it’s one of the best ways to create opportunities and ensure career development.
Tips for building trust in yourself
Sometimes we lose trust in ourselves after we make a mistake or after someone criticizes us harshly or constantly. It can feel more difficult to make decisions when you can’t trust yourself because you fear you’ll make the wrong choice. Or you might be more prone to criticizing your own decisions after you make them. Here are some tips to help you learn how to trust yourself:
1. Be yourself – Remember: it’s OK to be you! It's obvious but damn hard! If you fear how others will look at you or judge you, you might find it difficult to be yourself around other people. Start by practicing around the people you feel most comfortable with, like your friends and close family.
2. Set reasonable goals – I really believe in stretching myself but setting too ambitious goals has a major downside. When we don’t reach them, we experience failure. Failing often can reduce your self-confidence and ability to trust yourself. Instead, set many little goals that put you in the direction of your big goal, building momentum and confidence along the way.
3. Be kind to yourself – Loving yourself unconditionally by getting rid of negative thoughts about yourself and any self-criticism after you make a mistake is key. When you can love yourself unconditionally, you can trust yourself unconditionally. And that builds confidence.
4. Build on your strengths – You are unique! Everyone is better at some things and worse at others. Do more of the things that you’re good at and less of the things that you aren’t great at. If you’re not sure what you’re good at, observe your own flow, ask those people closest to you, and do some tests online. Be accepting of your weaknesses, but more so of your strengths!
5. Spend time with yourself – Break the habit of looking away from yourself by patiently looking inward. It might feel very uncomfortable. You can look in with meditation. Try sitting with yourself in a quiet place for 5 to 15 minutes each day. Pay close attention to your breath and body. As any thoughts or self-criticisms pass by, acknowledge them and then let them go.
6. Be decisive – Build trust in yourself by breaking your habit of questioning your decisions. Next time you make a choice, stick with it. Even if it turns out not to be the best choice, there’s no use beating yourself up over the decision you made. The best you can do is to learn from your mistake. Believe that you’ll make a better choice next time and move on. Doing so will help you learn to be more trusting of yourself and your decision-making skills.
Tips for building your intuition
Let’s take today’s practical letter further with 18 tips to strengthen your intuition!
1. Meditate.
2. Start noticing all that you can with your five conventional senses.
3. Pay attention to your dreams.
4. Get creative.
5. Consult oracle cards.
6. Test your hunches.
7. Consult your body compass.
8. Escape from your daily routine.
9. Spend time in nature.
10. Learn from the past.
11. Feel more, think less.
12. Engage in repetitive movement.
13. Align with your values.
14. Practice sensing people before you know them.
15. Read books about how to develop your intuition.
16. Do a training about intuition (yes those exist!)
17. Release your resistance.
18. Start a new breathwork practice.
How can I serve you? I would love to support you further by serving you and offering you coaching sessions on today’s topic, helping you move forward as you become better able to build trust in what you want to do, achieve, or become! Get in touch today for an empowering chat HERE
Question:
How can you improve trust in yourself?