RIP my friend🙏
Unfair | Death | Grateful
Last week, I shared a few words on trust. This week, I will share a couple of thoughts on the tragic loss of a dear colleague last week.
It is with a heavy heart that I write this week. Last Friday I lost a young colleague who died after an 18h long open-heart surgery. 28 years old, a great colleague, fun, enthusiastic, eager to do, learn, grow, and develop, with a fabulous work ethic and personality. Someone you want in your team…and at the bar! A fun soul, always with a little word for the team, some nice banter.
Gone. It feels unfair.
You can imagine the atmosphere of my team over the last few days! Disbelief, shock, anger, grief, you name it! A cocktail of strong emotions running around people in the team. And I can tell you that when you manage people, there is not a leadership playbook about this! Human to human, everyone reacts in a different way.
For me, the way I consciously wanted to react was to celebrate him — not celebrate his death, let’s be clear, but asking myself the question, “How would have he liked to be remembered?” And my response would be with joy and a gin and tonic in my hands!
And so, if this is what my friend would have liked, him, the person that matters the most here, I would have cried. Obviously, one must grieve, but in the end, it feels selfish and self-inflicted if the reason to be sad in the first place wouldn’t have wanted us to be sad.
As this tragic event sinks in, a few thoughts emerged.
Life is finite. It came as an obvious one that we are not elves, faeries, or vampires but mere mortals. Indeed, immortality is not the treat of our species and so we have finite time. It is a concept that is very difficult to grasp but when I think that I have “only” 14,559 days left, it becomes very real…
Be happy. This beautiful soul was. And I would say that he was for the very reason that he knew that he was dealt a bad hand and that the music might stop earlier for him.
Put on a brave face. Whatever hand life gives you, and I have to say he was dealt a pretty shit one, he put his brave coat on! And for this, I have immense respect!
Say goodbye. Think about how you leave a relationship, a situation. Did you leave someone after an argument or on good terms? Will you see this person again to correct a misunderstanding or an acrimonious last conversation?
Say I love you. To your friends, family, kids, colleagues (be mindful of how you say it in the work environment — it might not be taken the right way!)
Be grateful. For what you have here, now, for the chance of living, breathing. We are a miracle to start with and we need to nurture this idea that life is a miracle!
Focus on the important. I wrote about this only a couple of weeks ago, and I had no idea the significance this would take in the context of this death.
Be remembered. How do you want to be remembered once you’re gone? I wrote about this topic in this letter that I loved and invite you to rediscover.
Reflecting on all the above, what this brave soul made me realize is that we have a choice! Always! A choice about how we behave with others and ourselves. How we own ourselves, what we project, and how we interact.
As I was coached on the topic, I came up with this simple formula that really spoke to me, so I’m dropping it here in case it does to you.
Choice x (inward + outward) = happiness
In short, how you decide to show up with yourself and with others will determine the quality of your life.
And while this young spirit had too short of a life, he decided to be a brave and smiley soul!
We will miss you, brother!
How can I serve you? I would love to support you further by serving you and offering you coaching sessions on today’s topic, helping you move forward as you become more fulfilled by every days ! Get in touch today for an empowering chat HERE
Question:
Today, how will you choose to show up with others and yourself?